The straw ban

I don't get this whole straw ban thing. Some people are for it, some are against it. The reason I don't get it is because I've never used straws in my whole life. Why do you need a straw at all? What the hell are you drinking? If whatever you're drinking requires a straw then it's probably some junk food crap that you shouldn't be drinking anyway. Do you need a straw because you can't tip your glass and put it to your mouth? Then maybe use a little less ice or a more practical shape of glass? The way I see it, the only legitimate reason to need a straw is if you have a major injury to your hands or face.

I guess I'm just some offbeat weirdo who now happens to be on the trendy side of the fence, the strange little kid who never used straws, who now turns out to be the genius that was half a century ahead of the curve.

I guess if I wanted to put an emotional spin on it and influence your behavior, I'd say that if you use straws then you're an unintelligent person.

You don't want to be an unintelligent person, do you?


-Dave Bad Person